Pumpkin Jack

Finish the tutorial

Send a monster back to the grave

Equip the Legendary Holy Glory Shovel

Pick up a crow skull

Collect all crow skulls in the fields

Buy a new outfit!

Smashing some crates with your head might solve the barn's puzzle..

Kill the tyrannical Scarecrow and liberate the crows

Pass your abandoned minecart driving test

Find a gramophone and DANCE, DANCE, DANCE!

Complete all the underground bomb-bouncing courses

Kill the Phantom guarding the ancient mines

Find all crow skulls in the ancient mines

Ride the ghost horse all the way to the end

Make some magic mushroom music!

Ruin the Witch and Merchant's cruelty-free dinner

Collect all crow skulls in the swamp

Beat the gate guards to the gate they guard on guard carts

Win the game of Conveniently-Placed Hydraulic-Operated Underground Whack-a-Mole (patent pending)

Be the David to Dhor's Goliath (i.e. kill the big guy)

Collect all crow skulls in Skeletown

Go for a nice walk with Abelard the Gargoyle

Clear away all those headstones cluttering up the graveyard

Solve world hunger (by killing Gluttony)

Collect all crow skulls in the graveyard

Reach the end of the vortex like a paper boat down a drain

Get on Santa's Super-Duper-Duper-Naughty List

Make vinyls cool again. ...Actually, that's impossible, even as a joke. Just find all the gramophones.